I Erased My Anxiety With Mindfulness: Here’s How

I Erased My Anxiety With Mindfulness: Here’s How

Although the current version of myself would hardly indicate such, I have always been one of those people who has discretely battled anxiety for most of my life. For years, it had a major say in the actions I took and held me back from my true potential in ways I certainly would have never realized until breaking free. In many ways, it was this struggle with anxiety that initially exposed me to the unique and incredibly helpful world of mindfulness and meditation. To some it all up, I was sick of allowing my anxiety to control how I felt, control how I acted and control what I was capable of. I knew there were people out there fighting their way free of this mental trap, and once I found them they led me exactly where I needed to go. Nearly each and every one of them was, and still are firm believers in mindfulness as a lifestyle practice, and, on my own timeline, I certainly learned why. Mindfulness and meditation have truly abolished 99% of my anxiety. Although there was more at play than simply inducting a few new practices into my daily routine, the contribution this approach has made for me is simply unmeasurable and what I want is to share my advice and my experience with others who may be going through the exact same thing. 

Although I personally have found a great deal of stillness and progress in this form of self-work, I will absolutely acknowledge the personal nature of the experience of anxiety. Each and every one of us experiences life in our own way. And thus, each and every one of us has our own way of approaching, combatting and overcoming our personal demons.

If I had to sum it up as briefly as possible, the practice of mindfulness boils down to a few key principles: 

  1. Listening to our thoughts and feelings objectively before reacting to them. This allows us to then respond accordingly, free from an emotional and irrational reaction.
  2. Working through our experiences, feelings, and thoughts. We do this so that we can bring more understanding into our lives, in the form of self-awareness, and external awareness. Awareness then brings understanding, intention, and possibilities.
  3. Acceptance of the present moment. The world simply is the way it is. In this practice, we can be present to what is so, accepting that the need for control is nothing more than a conscious choice to be anxious. Control will always be nothing more than an illusion.

When it comes to achieving these three concepts, there are a variety of methods available. We can engage in sport to find that flow state of pure presence to the moment. We can dive into contemplation with people around us to work through experiences and better understand our view of the world. For myself personally, I have explored many ways of achieving these three elements, including and not limited to meditation, journaling, running, extreme sports and group gatherings. I learned about each of my approaches through research, and have reviewed them based on experience. All in all, the combination I chose completely erased the vast majority of anxiety from my life, symptoms and all. Because of how effective these tools were for myself personally, I’ve shared the list of practices that were the most powerful for me in the next section of this article.

This is my list of the tools I have found to be the most impactful when enhancing and healing my mental health.

Meditation

This practice is first and foremost on my list of mindfulness techniques, and for good reason. Truly disciplined and regular meditation practice is a life-changing habit. Exercising the art of consciously observing our thoughts without allowing them to take a hold of our emotional, physical or rational response is powerful. It allows us to approach life from a solid, reliable and consistent emotional place. It allows us to respond before we react. And it allows us to strengthen our resilience to stress while we are at it. In more recent years, the science behind meditation has joined the argument behind it in a very convincing way. Meditation strengthens the grey matter within our brain, cuts stress dramatically and enhancing cognitive capabilities. Considering stress is among the largest contributors to disease as a whole, this is some pretty decisive evidence in favour of sitting for a vow of silence at least once a day. For myself personally, starting and ending my day with meditation has allowed me to virtually dissolve stress in my life and avoid letting my monkey mind take over throughout the day. Not to mention, it’d a pretty peaceful way to start your daily grind. The state I pick up in the morning tends to stick with me all day, and I certainly notice when I go without.

Journalling

So often in life, we collect thoughts, feelings, and emotions without truly understanding what they are, or what they mean to us. This is where a journalling practice makes its contributions. Journalling as an exercise of self-awareness allows us to process the information we would normally allow to collect in our minds. It provides an opportunity to cut through the clutter of our experience and comprehend our emotions, our dreams, and really anything else we want or need to give some thought. Throwing thoughts on a piece of paper has a surprising ability to place us gently back in alignment with who we are. For myself personally, journaling has helped me lay out how I feel about the moments I am experiencing. It has helped me to see the consistencies in the way I look at things, allowing me to layout my value system with precise accuracy. And of course, it has helped me stir some more intentionality into the actions and the thoughts I choose to embrace in my life. It really is pretty amazing what each and every one of us is capable of when we step away from the auto-pilot way of living we are so used to.

Affirmations

Contrary to what many people may understand about them, the vast majority of our human thoughts are nothing more than habitual. At some point in our life, we experienced something, and then something else, and then something else. At each of these experiences, we chose to think a certain way. By the third or fourth time, that way of thinking is part of our programming. It is part of our subconscious response. This is why negative thoughts grasp us before negative moments even occur. It may be a wild concept to anybody first hearing this, but we CAN choose our thoughts. We CAN consciously add new programming to our mind’s automatic response. How do we do this? Affirmations. Affirmations train your mind on what to think, what to believe, and what to create as a feeling on the default level. If we make a very conscious and very consistent effort to tell ourselves the things we want to feel, we will start to feel more of them. Practice telling yourself how much you love who you are. Practice telling yourself you are confident. Practice telling yourself you are capable. If you practice the way the affirmations feel, and you daily for 50-100 days, you will almost certainly and inarguably experience drastic changes in your thoughts. For myself personally, I read my affirmations every night, every morning and sometimes, even more often. I have completely revamped my way of thinking for the better and the results are obvious. The birthplace of action is thought. If you want more results from the outer world, you need to start by working on your inner world.

Taking Breaks

I know this element will not apply to everybody, but if you are anything like myself, this one will pay itself back in dividends. For anybody out there who struggles with the same thing as myself, I have a common tendency to get all caught up in what I produce. My self worth becomes indiscriminately intertwined with my ability to create results and progress. When I stop for a moment, I feel guilty. I fill my mind with all the possibilities I am missing out on creating. I fall into the trap of attaching my value to some external means of validation, and that kind of mindset is not helping anybody be less anxious in their lives. Taking breaks is a very important aspect of mindfulness, and particularly for the self-work necessary when overcoming anxiety. Just like our legs need some rest after running a marathon, our minds need time to unwind, regenerate and recuperate. Not only is this necessary on a hormonal level, but it is necessary on a thought level. A major part of general anxiety that keeps it alive and well, is our habit of feeding unhealthy thoughts. The goal here is to give ourselves a break from those and break the habit once in a while. A healthy body needs rest and so does a healthy mind. Practice bringing more balance into your life. Work and relaxation need to come together in some sort of equilibrium for us to be at our best, and each of us has our own unique threshold for this. Take some time to unwind, and most importantly be happy about it. You deserve some time off, and you can rest easy knowing you will be even better when you return.

Taking Ownership

In complete honesty, modern society is not as great for this as many of us may think. Here in North America, we really do live in an era where much of society teaches us to cast the responsibility for the circumstances of our lives elsewhere. Our agency for creation is truly our largest and most real tool. The only difference between us and self-made millionaires with thriving relationships is that they simply chose to be that way. If you want an outstanding life, you need to apply yourself, because the universe likely has no plan on tossing you a lottery ticket down the line. Much of what anxiety inherently is, is the fear for the future. The fear that we will not be able to be alright. The fear that we will be incapable of influencing the outcomes of our lives. When I was at the darkest and likely weakest point of my life, a lightbulb finally turned on in my mind. I realized that I would feel better about the future if I simply made the future better. I knew that creating a comfortable future would provide my mind at least some form of ease, and it did. It was at that moment that I began working on a brand new career for myself, and I haven’t turned back once. It is never easy at the beginning, but applying myself has helped me feel more confident in what I am capable of as an individual. It has helped me embrace the future, knowing that I can rely on who I am, that I will always step up to take care of myself. And it has helped me rest my mind better in the present, knowing that I am indeed living more comfortably than I was before. Discipline and accomplishment are perhaps two of the greatest mental skills we can have.

Expanding My Comfort Zone

As I mentioned in the last paragraph, a dominating aspect of anxiety is an inherent fear of the future, and fear for situations we are uncomfortable with. With this in consideration, there are few ways to slowly diminish anxiety than to simply expand what it is that we are comfortable with. For myself personally, this was easier said than done, and I eased my way into this process. During the initial stages, I rarely took large steps, but I did take them consistently. I shared more articles, I shared more feelings. I said hi to more people. I smiled at more people. I became more vulnerable to the people in my life. I tried new things. I went for the things I wanted. As one might expect, these habits eventually became normal, and they are certainly no longer as scary as they once were. Expanded comfort has created expanded opportunities, expanded my sense of calm, and has truly helped me see my world in terms of possibilities instead of limitations. I’ve since come to realize that discomfort is the answer to all true expansion. Seeking discomfort creates more comfort for us on a whole. It’s a simple but powerful philosophy that has changed the lives of many.

Simplifying My Life

Lastly, there is a hidden power in simplicity, especially when it comes to our mind. When our minds are full of clutter, they are inefficient, and they operate poorly. A scattered life and a scattered mind often come hand in hand. One powerful way to bring more ease to our mental experience of the world, it so simplifies our experience of the world. So often we fall victim to the belief that busy is better. This is far from the truth. Cutting back on my commitments, or at least managing them more simply had provided me with a truly significant amount of relief. I’ve become a scheduling pro and a minimalism expert. I’ve found that the fewer things I own, the fewer thoughts I need to think about them. The fewer thoughts I need to think about them, the more stillness I am able to experience. I am still a high producing individual, only now I do it strategically. I still enjoy nice things, only now I consume very consciously. Without managing the stimulation icn our lives, the reality is that we simply become a product of our environment. De-stimulating and turning inward is powerful. 

Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.

– Mary Hemingway

If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness or meditation, consider subscribing to my newsletter. In doing so you will receive an ebook on journaling prompts, an ebook about how to start implementing mindfulness in your life and multiple full length guided meditations from renowned meditation coach Michelle Pound. I also have a podcast on Mindfulness which you can listen to on Itunes, Spotify, and all other platforms.

The Myth Of The Comfort Zone: How To Easily Expand Your Abilities

The Myth Of The Comfort Zone: How To Easily Expand Your Abilities

In this recent episode of The Mindful Steward Podcast, I analyze the comfort zone, what it is, and what is exactly is so comfortable about it? My conclusion is simple, the comfort zone is a myth, and here’s why.

For years of my life, I lived in my comfort zone. Even in the areas where I expanded, I did so mostly from good fortune, by poking around the outer regions of my comfortable space to see how much I could experience while remaining deeply within my personal boundaries. I had no desire to expose myself to the real world, and all the potential fears and failures that came along with it. Although I was comfortable, the harsh reality was unsatisfied. It took me years to realize this, and even more years to break free of it.

The comfort zone is not comfortable at all. It is a place filled to the brim with “what if’s”, fears and most detrimentally, regrets. For myself personally, the comfort zone was a place where I constantly thought about what my life would be like if I said yes to all of the things I was constantly retreating from. I was completely consumed by the considerations in my mind, instead of the end goal of the lifestyle I wanted. I listened to every doubt, I listened to every excuse and every complaint. This mental chatter is what dictated how I was living, my decision making seemed to have no say in the matter of what I was creating. The comfort zone was not comfortable, it was only risk-free. At the ripe age of 28 years old, I have finally come to realize how different these two things truly are. Comfort is much more closely related to ‘satisfaction’ that is it to ‘safe’, and there is no satisfaction in living a life where you back away from your dreams and hopes. It is in the trying, and the experiencing of challenge where true satisfaction is created.

As outlined in the episode, I was once an incredibly shy child. It was something that haunted me for years. It crippled my confidence and held me back in so many aspects of my life I probably couldn’t even count them on all my fingers and toes. It took me a very long time to understand that this tendency to be shy, to be quiet and to be reserved was nothing more than a choice I was making. I chose, accepted and believed the story that I could not talk to people. I allowed this to dictate my life until a set of books and readings finally created a fresh perspective in my mind: that my beliefs and thoughts were nothing more than a habit. That I could reprogram my subconscious mind to interact with people in the way I had always wanted. I had social anxiety, and I got rid of it through practice, through affirmation work, and through consistency. As human beings, we are creatures of habit in nearly every way. To create successful results in our lives we need to go all the back to our biological roots and create successful habits that will allow a given success to occur. This is the approach I took, and here are the steps I followed when I chose to overcome my shyness. I was never easy, but it was worth it in nearly every way.

I started small.

When first starting out, I chose to leave my comfort zone through small but consistent actions. For me, this meant speaking to strangers often. In the beginning, just saying hi to one new person a day was a win. Over time, I upgraded this goal consistently to the point where I was having small but easy conversations with strangers in grocery stores, restaurants or at the bus stop. What I learned was that as I made a simple habit of being open to conversing, the entire experience became easier. As it became easier, it simply became second nature. Saying hi to my waiters eventually led to saying hi old ladies in the condiment aisle. Soon after, I would initiate conversations with these same people. To make a small story short, we don’t need to torture ourselves with discomfort to progress toward our goals. Small but consistent action will manifest incredible results if we are dedicated.

I ignored my mental chatter.

Like many of us, what held me back most, was the tiny voice in the back of my head that constantly provided me with an imaginary case where the worst possible situation could occur. Rationally, this is probably not going to happen very often, but as humans, we often allow the hypothetical chance of something occurring to control our reality in the present. Although developing enough confidence and resilience to put this step into action required a lot of self-work on its own, this is a key to success. What to nearly all high achievers like Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Gates have in common? They do not have the habit of hesitating. They act, they create, they base decisions off feedback from the moment, and not on worst-case possibilities. They are profoundly related to reality in ways mental chatter could never interrupt. When the little voice in the back of my head started telling me not to talk to that person, I did it anyway. I developed a craving for those moments where I could beat my own doubts. The habit of facing fear head-on is one that turns us from passively mechanical beings into warriors.

Whenever my growth slowed down, I took a leap of faith.

Personal development is a process jam-packed with ebbs and flows. Eventually, times hit us where we have two choices: to stagnate where we are or do something drastic. These moments are both inevitable and important. The key here is to be aware of our internal state of affairs. Drastic results will certainly require drastic measures. When I felt my conversational skills were no longer improving, I did something crazy, I got a job where high-pressure interactions were critical to my success. When I hit my next social flatline, I did something crazy. I started publishing my conversations with strangers online, and launched my podcast. Both of these experiences were terrifying, but they forced me to grow in ways I could never describe, and I am incredibly grateful for both their lessons and proud of the courage I had in taking those actions. Giant leaps are how we hack truly exponential growth in our lives. These experiences are never comfortable, and neither should they be. To stand out in this world, we have to go through processes and experiences that stand out too. Our outer world is nothing more than a reflection of internal world. It is a simple rule that governs the universal reality we live in today.

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Although there is a case to be made about living comfortably, the case for living abundantly, filled with excitement and passion for the future is likely doubly as strong. Pushing the boundaries of our human experience is simply a pre-requisite for a life filled with adventure and fulfillment. It is necessary for the internal satisfaction that truly ignites the human spirit. With that being said, I know from experience that the comfort zone can be a very difficult place to escape from, especially for someone who has made a habit of resisting the unknown such as the younger version of myself. The comfort zone is not something we have to leap out of in order to be competent. True growth is slow, and it is steady. It is in a commitment to improving ourselves that these potentials live. A fluid mix of accountability, discomfort, leaps into the unknown and small actions are a recipe for change with powerful results. Living mindfully and with our intentions for the future in mind is the cornerstone of true fulfillment. With these in mind, growth is simply inevitable.

How To Start Meditating: A Beginners Guide

How To Start Meditating: A Beginners Guide

Meditation has recently entered the realm of going mainstream. In recent years, this ancient practice has begun to re-enter the spotlight, and for good reason. The proven benefits continue to pile onto a growing list. Following modern science’s newfound understanding of what exactly it is that meditation does for the mind, we are seeing high performers and truth-seekers alike diving into the practice with open arms. For myself personally, I have found incredible relief from stress and anxiety by simply adding meditation into my daily routine as a form of morning and sometimes afternoon ritual. I’ve come to see the practice as a form of mental hygiene that is not only a responsive cure for momentary stress but a proactive tool to enhance the minds ability to overcome or handle high-pressure situations at any given point in time. This ability has helped me remain level headed in my workplace, my relationships and my creative projects, and has helped me gain more clarity on my personal experience of the world.

“YOU SHOULD SIT IN MEDITATION FOR 20 MINUTES A DAY; UNLESS YOU’RE TOO BUSY, THEN YOU SHOULD SIT FOR AN HOUR.” — Old Zen Saying

Needless to say, meditation is a method of achieving a whole new level of calm and consciousness in any one person’s life. Both of which are qualities that allow us to function with more emotional and rational maturity in our professional lives, personal relationships and whatever other possibilities we choose to create in our world. Not to mention, the relief from anxiety and depression that comes along as part of the package. However, with all of this considered, how do you start meditating? And what can they expect while learning how? In this article, we are going to dive into what meditation is, how it is done, and some of the most common questions new meditators ask when first starting their practice.

WHAT IS MEDITATION?

Contrary to popular belief, meditation is not necessarily the act of remaining thoughtless, it is the practice of honing one’s focus. In the process of taking undistracted time and moments throughout the day to focus in on the sensations of our body, the sensation of our breath or any desired emotions we would like to experience more of, we are actively sharpening our blade of focus. In taking time to hone in on the feelings and experiences that place us in the present, we are actively ignoring the endless chatter that is an inherent aspect of the human mind. Meditation is the simple practice of catching ourselves whenever we lose this focus, bringing our focus back to whatever our anchor of choice may be, whether we have selected the breath, the sensations of our body, or a subset of emotions. Even the most experienced meditators experience prevalent and constant moments of distraction. With time, you will see that focus is a skill, and meditation is one way to enhance this ability for the sake of all aspects of our lives. The belief that proper meditation involves having a perfectly clear mind is simply a myth. Dedicating a few moments to simply experience, acknowledge, and focus on the moment is all we need to bring more stillness into our life. 

HOW OFTEN SHOULD I MEDITATE?

This is one of the most common questions asked by individuals when first starting meditation. I believe the following old zen quote says it best: “you should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day; unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour”. When it comes to routine, it took me a few years of meditating before I realized the true power of implementing one. Although meditation is powerful as a tool to alter your state in any given moment, it’s true power lies in daily practice. Daily practice strengthens the physiology of the mind, enhancing our ability to process information, remain resilient against stress, and think creatively. In Emily Fletcher’s book: Stress Less Accomplish More: Meditation For Extraordinary Performance, she outlines the scientific benefits of a meditation routine consisting of 15 minutes twice a day. As she puts it, by using 2% (30 minutes) of our day to meditate, we get much more out of all the remaining 98%. From my experience, this is absolutely true. Meditating daily has improved my sleep and therefore my energy, my work life, completely relieved my anxiety, and improved my relationships. The mental resilience it fosters through both practice and the creation of a new positive habit is truly priceless. Thoughts are indeed the building blocks of action, and they are most certainly another form of habit. In learning to control and improve them, we improve all areas of our lives. Just like brushing your teeth, meditation is hygiene for the mind.

WHAT IS THE SCIENCE BEHIND MEDITATION?

Though the age-old practice has been utilized for thousands of years, the real science behind meditation is only beginning to fully emerge alongside new learnings about the mind. The benefits of meditation have been proven time and time again, reasserting the need to bring this practice to the public sphere. The proven benefits include resiliency to stress, strengthened attention, improvements to mental health, enhanced quality of sleep, lengthening of the telomeres in DNA meaning a longer lifespan, improved productivity and multitasking, memory recall and emotional regulation & self-control. Put simply, meditation is a workout for your mind. In the same way, your muscles grow with weight training, mindfulness strengthens the cortical walls and grey matter of the brain. All of this serves to enhance cognitive resilience in a variety of ways. At the very least, we know the body functions optimally when it is free from stress. This is indeed the baseline for much of these added benefits.

HOW DO I START MEDITATING?

Starting meditation will initially feel quite strange, that is the truth. With time this feeling will almost certainly shift to a sense of enjoyment and relaxation. I would recommend downloading or listening to guided meditations on YouTube to begin. There are also several great meditation apps where you can access a wide variety of high quality guided sessions. For myself, I followed guided meditations between 10–25 minutes in length for the first year of my practice. By taking this approach, you are able to begin by simply focusing on the voice of the teacher, following directions as they come. These recordings generally guide you on breathing pattern, visualization of imagery, or acknowledgment of physical sensations within your body. Their voice becomes your anchor, and you can simply return to their words with each moment of distraction or thought. This process functions as an excellent foundation for eventually replacing the voice in a recording with your own anchor of choice once you are ready to amplify your practice. Relax your musculature, take a deep breath and focus on the moment at hand. The art of connecting yourself back to the present amidst wavering distractions is a skill and a process. This in and of itself is perhaps the most impactful lesson of meditation. There is, after all, nothing that exists outside of the eternal present moment. Being right here, and right now, is what life is all about. Instead of thinking, planning, and organizing about life, let’s meditate, and BE about life.

“THE THING ABOUT MEDITATION IS: YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE YOU” — David Lynch

In the highly stimulating world of modern-day society, mindfulness and meditation prime our mind for presence, happiness, and performance. In time, most longterm meditators rank their practice as one of the most important aspects of their day, and many would tell you openly that it has changed their life for the better. From enhanced mental processing to the simple state of peace and calm it allows us to operate within, meditation is sure to bring a sense of ease to anybody who is truly willing to give it a chance. For myself personally, meditation is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. It has changed the way I approach challenges, the way I approach my relationships and it has changed my results in nearly everything I do. Rational thinking and reduced stress have brought stillness to my life and effectiveness in my actions. If you are new to meditating or are interested in giving it a shot, I recommend starting slow, with a routine that is right for you. As the old proverb says, it is the slow and the steady who win the race, and you will surely gain a lot of insights along the way.

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy this episode of my podcast where I dive into how exactly to start meditating. I explain the common misconception about the practice, how it’s done, as well as a few of the benefits it has on both our bodies and brains.

Listen To My Podcast On Itunes Here

Listen To My Podcast On SoundCloud Here

Listen To My Podcast On Spotify Here

For those who prefer digesting content via the written word, please find the transcription of this podcast episode just below:

All righty. Thank you for tuning into this episode. My name is Sean Grabowski. This is The Mindful Steward podcast. I started a website called the mindful steward years ago, and it’s all about meditation and mindfulness, and I know a lot of you have probably already heard some of my other episodes, but I talk about meditation here and there. I ask a lot of my guests about it. A lot of them meditate. It’s something that I’ve been seeing more and more among just creatives and people who are really free thinking, especially through having the opportunity to interview a lot of them. But I have had this website for a long time and in all honesty, I haven’t been meditating for years, but it wasn’t until, I don’t know, maybe eight months ago when I set up a very serious routine of meditating daily, and I meditate every single morning. I meditate again at some point in the evening, often through the day. Generally I would say I meditate probably between 30 and 45 minutes a day. Sometimes if I really want to relax, I will meditate for an hour. It’s a really amazing way to start your day. If you spend a good half hour really slowing down your brain and just taking it all in, it kind of puts you in that state for the rest of the entire day. And you’d be surprised how powerful your mind is when it doesn’t react and it just can respond to everything accordingly. And just living with those characteristics has done amazing things for my life and it has completely rid me of anxiety. And uh, I’m hesitant to use the word depression, but you know, I used to have ups and downs that I really just don’t experience very much anymore at all. And that literally stopped when I started meditating every day doing this routine.

It started from a book I read from Emily Fletcher called Stress Less Accomplish More. And it was all about how meditation is a tool of high performers and why exactly that is. And she goes through a huge amount of household names of people who have openly said that they meditate every single day and they have a routine. And then she goes into the science of how it improves your mind. And it’s just absolutely mind blowing. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but meditation is exploding at the moment. Um, it’s one of the fastest growing Google terms along with mindfulness. And you know, I would say that that is because for the first time ever, our logical thinking society is receiving the opportunity to learn about the science behind all of these things. And it’s quite interesting to, to notice that this practice that is thousands of years old has a very scientific benefit. Because clearly, way back in the day when these ancient societies were doing this, unless they were scientifically advanced and actually could measure these things in the brain, you know, there’s a lot of speculation around that conversation these days. But unless that was the case, then they probably just intuitively figured this out on their own where they meditated and were just so in tune with their bodies and their minds that they could see and they could experience the benefits and just recognize, Oh, this is a good thing and we should do more of this. Um, you know, there’s a lot of even thought that the modern interpretation of what prayer is is actually another form of meditation. And anyways, before I get too far off topic, I just want to talk about a very basic thing here and just put out a quick little episode about how to meditate. Because I think that a lot of the interpretation of what meditation is by most people I talk to haven’t read it or aren’t actively practicing it or have been taught it is very misleading. And I can understand why because from an outsider’s perspective, you get the impression that meditation is totally clearing your mind. And if you’re not doing that, then you’re not doing it right. And that is just actually not the case. There are expert meditators and they don’t have clear minds when they meditate and they will say this, and these are monks who have been doing this for 10 years straight in a monastery somewhere. And that is just the reality. The whole process of meditation is just accepting that you’re a human being and thoughts are going to come and go. But it’s kind of a practice of just allowing those thoughts to happen and not letting them mean anything. So, what most people do, especially the beginner meditators, which is almost everyone, including myself, you know, it takes years to become advanced, but meditation is just the art of focus. And it does not mean that you are doing it incorrectly. When you lose focus, it’s just the art of catching yourself and bringing yourself back to focus. And we do that by choosing an anchor. Many people choose the breath as the anchor, so it’s not just that you’re breathing, it’s either that you’re doing circular motions of breath, where it’s five seconds in, five seconds out, and you’re focusing on that count. And every time you lose focus on that count, you just say, Oh, I’m thinking again. And then you go back. You just label the thinking immediately and then you go back to the breath. What I like to do is think about the sensations of the breath, what the air feels like going through my nostrils, what my chest feels like going up and down. And there are many different ways that you can emphasize this focus. A lot of people do sensory, just sensations of the body where they will think about the sensations on the bottom of their feet, on the soles, on the, on the tops of their feet and their big toe, on their ankle, the calf, the thigh, their hips, what it feels like sitting down, what does the, whatever they’re sitting down on feel like. And they’ll just go through their body.

Focusing on the sensations, and this seems quite small, but in focusing on something such as this, you’re actively not focusing on the chatter in the back of your mind. And we live in such an overstimulating society that most of the things that we utilize are designed with psychology in mind to catch your attention and stimulate your brain and have reward loops, even checking your emails, checking Facebook notifications. Most technology in general is doing this and it almost creates a habit of needing stimulation. It also creates a habit of always listening to the chatter in the back of your mind because the chatter is what’s telling you, Oh, do this. Oh am I worried that person’s not going to message me back? Oh, am I worried I’m going to get fired at work? Whatever it is. In those times, what we are doing is we are listening to the chatter in our brain instead of listening to the decisions and listening to our intentions for what we want that day to be. So thoughts are habits. Bad thoughts are habits too. That’s where affirmations come in. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of them. It’s where you wake up in the morning, you say the positive things that you want to feel, even if you don’t feel them. It’s part of reprogramming your thoughts, but I’m not going to go too much into that. That could have a whole separate episode on its own and I will probably do a separate episode about NLP, neuro linguistic programming, but essentially in training our minds to meditate and just focus on the present and just ignore something that we don’t want to be paying attention to, allows us to take those abilities into all other areas of our life and, sure, it just becomes a habit of thought where when you’re at work, you have a problem to solve. It just becomes what’s so. You become very profoundly related to reality instead of profoundly related to the thoughts in the back of your mind and the worries and that is powerful. That’s super, super powerful. That’s why people like Oprah Winfrey, Arianna Huffington, huge names have said that the foundation of their career success is meditation and you know everyone has their different practices. I’m not saying that this is for everyone, but I’m saying this works for me, works for a lot of people. It’s scientifically proven to thicken the gray matter in your brain, to allow your brain to be more plastic and create pathways quicker. There’s a reason it’s exploding right now and it’s because the science is very, very real. So that is a very simple guideline of meditation. You know, it’s about taking a few minutes, practicing the focus and getting on with your day and it just is what it is and it isn’t. What is it? If you have a really distracted meditation that day, that is just what happened. It just is what it is, and then maybe the next day you’ll have a different one, but in time you become better at this, you become better at focusing, you become better at ignoring mental chatter and that is where the true power of all of this lies. So thank you for tuning in. While we are on topic, I have free guided meditations on my website. I have a couple of little eBooks about journaling and mindfulness. The guided meditations are actually led by my friend Michelle Point who I have an episode with, she’s a premier executive coach and meditation teacher and they’re recorded by my friend Max who I have an episode with who is a professional music producer. Um, so they’re pretty awesome and they’re free. If you want to sign up for the newsletter, I’m not going to spam anyone, I’m just going to send out meditation resources. I’m just trying to grow a cool community where I can share the information about all of this as the industry continues to explode. So that is this entire rant of mine. Thanks for tuning in. I hope you do share your thoughts about this episode somewhere. If you have any ratings, help me get this podcast in front of more people, so please do rate it. Thank you so much and have a wonderful day.

Dale Stephenson On Intuition, Work/Life Harmony & Personal Expansion

Dale Stephenson On Intuition, Work/Life Harmony & Personal Expansion

Dale Stephenson is a freethinker, an adventurer and a professional designer currently residing on the west coast of Canada in Vancouver. Ever since becoming great friends with both Dale and his brother Matt, I’ve always sensed a rare energy when spending time with both of these lads. It’s something I can only describe using the simple term, presence. Wherever these two are, they are fully there, and you can feel it. Whether that be in their careers, their friendships, their adventures or their activities. Not surprisingly so, their lifestyles have ended up incredibly well rounded as they prepare to exit their late twenties in the next few years. As far as I can tell, with nothing short of great things to come on their horizon. Both Dale and I share similar views and interests on a whole host of topics. Reading copious amounts of the same content, it’s always been a reality that we can ring off ongoing conversation on an almost endless basis. In this episode, we dive into a whole host of topics including Dale’s near-death experience, how to follow your intuition in creating a life by your own design, and a unique perspective on retirement I’ve rarely heard anywhere else.

Connect with Dale in Instagram Here

Listen on Itunes Podcasts Here

Mindset Coach Brooke Alexander On Practical Spirituality, Taking Ownership & Personal Growth.

Mindset Coach Brooke Alexander On Practical Spirituality, Taking Ownership & Personal Growth.

In this episode my new friend Brooke and I record a conversation on our journeys into the world of personal development. We end up discussing what brought us there, what we found in the endless sea of growth content, and how we apply this advice in a practical and effective manner. Brooke is a mindset & life coach by trade who helps people achieve their dreams on a daily basis. Her experience and qualification in all areas of mindset mastery make her an awesome person to chat spirituality, growth and development with. You can find her podcast: The Brooke Alexander Show on itunes.

Visit Brooke’s Website HERE.

Listen To Brooke Podcast HERE.

Follow Brooke On Instagram HERE.

If you would rather red the episode transcript you can find the conversation just below:

Sean Grabowski:

Hey guys, thank you for tuning into the ninth episode of the mindful steward podcast. Today I am having a conversation with my friend Brooke Alexander and she actually has a podcast of her own as well. It’s called the Brooke Alexander show on iTunes. So Brooke is actually a mindset and business coach here in Toronto and what she does is she helps people get in the right state of mind and kind of organize their strategy for success so that they can actually accomplish the things that they’re trying to achieve. So she has a lot of great information to share and she knows a lot about personal development and the techniques and strategies that can really, really help you make a difference in your own life. So her and I kind of discuss our own path of self development and personal discovery and I think we get onto some pretty cool topics. So I do think you will like this episode, if you do want to follow the podcast, feel free to subscribe on iTunes or SoundCloud. I am going to be releasing some resources over the next month. So you can also keep up to date with that as well. All right. And without further ado, I will get this episode started.

Sean Grabowski:

All right, so how do you want to start this?

Brooke Alexander:

I don’t know. How do you just do it however you normally do it? Cause I didn’t record in person, so like I don’t know. Whatever way you found to be like the most comfortable.

Sean Grabowski:

True. Well I guess sometimes I introduce the person but this is kind of going to be a mutual thing. Okay. Yeah. Just tell us about yourself, Brooke.

Brooke Alexander:

Okay. my name is Brooke. I’m a life and success coach. I use a bunch of different modalities. So hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT and time techniques over like cool stuff. And I usually just help women, well not just, but I help women start businesses. So dealing more with the mindset stuff because that is really what people need help with. Like anyone can start a business. You can go online and like look up 10 steps on how to start a business, how to study YouTube channel, how to start a blog, whatever. But people need more than that. People need more help than just that. And that’s the stuff that usually holds people back.

Brooke Alexander:

For sure. I mean, I think the scariest part about, I mean, the hardest part about running a business is actually feeling and believing that you can actually do it because it’s a scary thing. And if you are, if you’re somebody who has a lot of self doubt, then you’re going to struggle a lot of different times.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, exactly. And like we’ve been brought up to think that the way to success is to get a good job, have someone pay you a salary, get a house, get a car, get kids. But like not everyone wants that. And that’s not the only way to success or happiness or whatever. So I think we’re just kind of breaking out of that mold now and realizing that that doesn’t fit how the world works right now. So…

Sean Grabowski:

Oh yeah, definitely. So, I mean, I don’t want to get off topic right away. But when you say that, does that mean that you were raised to believe that that’s what success is?

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sean Grabowski:

I was always told that when I was growing up.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, exactly. Like I saw my parents both have their jobs. We had two cars, two kids went to high school. I went to a Catholic all-girls high school. So that was very like, you must follow this path, this thing, do this, this man up in the sky is now going to dictate the rest of your life and you need to do what this God tells you. And like it was, it was really like a path and I never fit into that path ever. I got like detention, I got suspended from school cause I just was like, I don’t fit into that. That’s not what I want. And then it took me a really long time to realize that I didn’t have to do that.

Sean Grabowski:

Cool. Yeah, I mean for a long time I guess I defined success that way too. Just cause I was always told that and I was kind of a young person, wasn’t really thinking for myself yet. And as soon as I started thinking for myself, I totally changed that perspective. I realized that that’s not what I define as success. There are people who definitely succeed in that way.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah. It can work. It can work, but it just doesn’t have to be the only way.

Sean Grabowski:

Definitely.

Brooke Alexander:

So anyway, before we get too into it, let’s, can you intro yourself and tell the listeners about you?

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah. I don’t even know what to say. I kind of just see myself as a normal dude, but when it comes to my own podcast and kind of what I’m doing now just for fun with all of that. I got into writing probably three years ago and it was kind of around the same time when I got a lot more into reading. Right after I actually finished university and I gave reading an actual chance because I got to pick my own books and kind of got to choose what I actually wanted to learn. And I got really into it and I started writing and everything just to build my resume. It was literally just a task with an end goal. And then I got published on a cool couple of websites and I just started feeding off that and I was like, this is really neat being able to do this. So just, one thing led to another one thing led to another I should say. And then I made a website, then I decided I wanted to redo the website. Then I got really into kind of managing just web applications and learning that whole side of things with marketing and whatnot and to kind of compact the long story. Basically. I work in Toronto at an ad agency doing that kind of thing now because I have an end goal in mind of where that can get me. And I also just really liked doing it and then I love creating content. So that’s pretty much where I am now. Just using my podcast as an excuse to have really good conversations.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah. That’s really cool. I mean I did the same thing, so, but that’s really awesome. So should we start at the beginning?

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah.

Brooke Alexander:

Alright. I’m gonna start with you though.

Sean Grabowski:

You want me to go first?

Brooke Alexander:

I want you to go first.

Sean Grabowski:

So by the beginning, you mean how I got into…

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, how you got into spirituality and mindset stuff and like where it began for you.

Sean Grabowski:

Of course. So I would say that I got into personal growth stuff initially. I, I had no idea that it would lead me down a little bit more of a spiritual path. But I basically I’ll go way back cause even before that I was, I had kind of an interesting childhood, not really childhood, but when I was an adolescent and my parents were always kind of like, go to school, like play these normal organized sports. And I did play a lot of sports growing up too. But then I got obsessed with snowboarding and it’s this like weird unstructured sport where you meet all these weird people and everyone who’s an adult in that world is doing really cool, interesting things. And I did pretty well with that and I just got fully obsessed. And then at a certain point, right when I was about to finish university I had kind of a falling out with a girl who I was hoping things were going to get a lot more serious with who I was kind of off and on with for a little while. And then I also tore my ACL and, my whole plan was that right when I was going to finish school, I would just go fully into Snowberry and start pursuing it like 110%. I was going to move to Whistler and kind of try and get back into the groove of things with competing and, and and sponsorship and whatnot. So when I tore my ACL, I literally went into depression and I was like super sad, didn’t know what to think. And I started and I finished university and that’s when I started reading. So I naturally decided I was gonna read self help books and personal growth books. And we’ve talked about this before, but the first book I picked up was the power of now, and I think you said it was the first one you picked up too, which is such a funny coincidence.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, my cousin told me about it. I was going through a tough time as well, and she told me to read that book.

Sean Grabowski:

It’s an awesome book. You know, I haven’t reread it since then. Looking back the language is so complex in that, but it’s really eye-opening that there’s a lot more going on and from there I just one honestly, one thing led to another. That’s right when I started writing as well and my writing, if anyone were to check out my website is really all kind of my own brand of personal, like personal analyzing and just self-awareness. So it’s, it’s personal growth content, I would say.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, no. Yeah, it is. It’s great stuff. It’s like good writing. If you haven’t checked it out, check it out.

Sean Grabowski:

I love it. It’s like a nice way for me to express myself and yeah, I’ve just got super into it and I’ve gone to all these different areas because in my mind there’s so many different facets of being the best version of yourself. And you could start with the easiest ones, which in reality, I do think they’re the easiest ones, which is your physical health, eat better, sleep better, exercise better. And then you go into the mindset stuff and then there’s the spirituality of knowing who you are and what you actually want. And it just goes from there and eventually it just all comes together and you kind of finally hit this point where you feel like you get it. And it’s always hard to kind of keep it rolling in the right direction. But yeah, I just got super into it. I’ve read so many books and written so many articles about it at this point. I spend so much time watching YouTube stuff and listening to podcasts about it because everything brings value into my life. So it’s just become part of my lifestyle basically at this point.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. And when you first started getting into all this stuff, so what, you said that you started reading and you got into personal development books. Did someone tell you to, like how did, how did it go down that path? Because I know for a lot of people, like especially around our age, younger people, it can kind of seem like this weird thing. Like I was always really resistant to it cause I was like, who does that? Except for depressed people or alcoholics or whatever, just as I was like this weird thing. But how did that kind of specifically happen for you?

Sean Grabowski:

I honestly just started Googling. I literally just started Googling ways to make myself feel better or like I fully came across it on my own. Nobody gave it to me. I think like I’ve struggled with that at times, but I’ve always had an internal locus of control like that where if there’s something going on, my mindset will be, alright, how can I, how can I fix this? Or how can I make this work? So that was how I got into it to be honest.

Brooke Alexander:

Right. And did you have any resistance? Did you ever feel like, Oh that it was like a weird thing for you to be doing or you like fully embraced it from the beginning?

Sean Grabowski:

I think at different points. I think literally when I started actually meditating, that was a big kind of boundary formula where I was, my whole perspective was like, meditating that’s way out there. That’s like, you know, I’m not like a Buddhist guy in a temple. I’m just some dude in my house in, in like Ontario. So that was one boundary. I think once you get into the more spiritual stuff too, it’s kind of a hard thing to cross into. But I’m going to quote you because I listened to one of your podcasts earlier, earlier today I did my homework.

Brooke Alexander:

Oh God.

Sean Grabowski:

But you said this one thing that I think defines it so well, and you were like, people misinterpret spirituality and all of this as some crazy thing and they, they look at it and judge and go, that stuff doesn’t work. That doesn’t give you results. But that’s not the purpose of any of it. It’s to, the purpose of all that is to make you feel better about what you’re doing and what you have going on and to have a better approach so that you can make things happen and so that you can make things work.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Wow. That’s like, gee, go me. I don’t know where it comes from.

Sean Grabowski:

Really, you said it like it was like one of your trademarks.

Brooke Alexander:

Oh really, I guess it probably fits into that somewhere because I’m really like into you controlling, being in control of your outcomes and being the cause and not being at effect. But sometimes I get in front of the microphone and it just comes out and I’m like, wow, go Brooke. Good for you. That’s really cool. That’s an awesome story and it’s good that you found that cause a lot of people don’t and also that you embraced it because a lot of people don’t, a lot of people think it’s super weird, especially young people, but that’s kind of how we connected is through this stuff having like a similar interest. So it’s really awesome to see people picking this up and going along with it and embracing it. It’s really cool.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah, definitely.

Brooke Alexander:

Especially guys too, especially guys. We’ll get onto that later. Yeah.

Sean Grabowski:

So how did you get into all of the, the kind of coaching, what you’re doing now and just being into the overall kind of personal growth world and, and the whole process?

Brooke Alexander:

So like I said, the the power of now book was recommended to me by my cousin. So I was going through a breakup. I had been with someone for, we were only together for two years. And I don’t think I’ve even shared this part of the story with you cause it’s kind of intense. But, so we were together for two years. We were engaged and then towards the end of the relationship he, I found out he had been cheating on me a lot throughout the whole thing. And then he got, he the end, the relationship ended because it was like, it got really, really bad to the point that I went to hospital. Yeah, he was like the worst. So then I was, yeah, yeah, it was bad. It was bad. And so I was like in a really bad spot, really bad. And my cousin recommended the book to me and so I read it and at the time I just didn’t really understand it. It’s, it can be hard to understand all of that stuff.

Sean Grabowski:

Definitely.

Brooke Alexander:

So it took me, I read it, I think I probably read each page twice because I just could not understand it, but that was kind of the seed for me. The seed was planted and then after that I still didn’t really pick up personal development for a long time. It’s still, it would have been a good couple of years until I really got into it, but I always had in the back of my mind, the only moment is the present moment. Like focus on that. This is the only moment, even though I, I understood the words, but I didn’t understand how it was real and how it applied for the longest time. And I would say it’s probably only recently that I’ve fully been able to comprehend what that means. But about a little while ago, actually, like couple of years ago, it all kind of came flooding back. So I was really unhappy with a whole lot of stuff. I was still dealing with the end of that relationship, dealing with all that stuff. And I hadn’t gotten over it yet in terms of mentally it was still affecting me and I was still angry from it and frustrated and blaming and a victim. But I kind of was thinking, this can’t be the only way. I can’t be the only person in life who is miserable. I see all these other people happy and having a good life. What is the difference? And then it kind of clicked and I was like, the only difference is what’s going on in my head. And so it snowballed from there. And then I yeah, just kind of snowballed. And then I started reading more personal development books. And the next one I read was, You Are A Badass by Jen Cincero and that, and also another podcast called the life coach school by Brooke Castillo. I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to that.

Sean Grabowski:

I’ve never even heard of it.

Brooke Alexander:

Oh it’s so good. I listened to the first episode and it’s something like why you’re not getting the results or something you say you want or something along those lines. And I seriously listened to that episode and I was mind blown. And all she said was, you can choose your thoughts, you can choose what thoughts you want to have, what thoughts you want to get rid of, you can create thoughts that you want. And I was like, Oh my God, that’s so true. Why hasn’t anyone ever told me this before? And then, yeah. And then it just kept on getting bigger and bigger and I got more into personal development stuff. I also started meditating and then I was doing fitness coaching at the time, so online fitness coaching, cause I was doing bodybuilding competitions. And then I quickly realized that I didn’t actually like doing workout programs for people. I don’t care about that. It’s so boring. And also people know what to do at the gym. People know that you need to go to the gym and you need to lift a weight or you need to run on the treadmill. You, you don’t need a coach to tell you what to do. That’s not really, even when you have a coach that’s not what they’re coaching you on. They’re giving you the guidance and the support and whatever other mindset stuff that is really important. So I realized that’s really what people needed help with and that was what I liked talking about and helping people with the most. So then I decided to transition into just life and success coaching and then here we are.

Sean Grabowski:

Cool. And I mean that’s so true. There was a, the first girl named Lauren who I did my first episode with, she was a business coach and she basically helps people with their online strategy. So she helped with that side. But she also did the mindset stuff and what she, she told me multiple different stories and there were a lot of shoe focused on women as well. So female entrepreneurs and a lot of the time it’s these women who have awesome businesses or they have literally the one lady had a book written and it’s like an awesome book and she just needed someone there to kind of encourage her to PR to promote it. And she published her book and made like $250,000 on the first day. And it just like, obviously it’s just done amazing things since then, but imagined she just never published that she had that book ready for three years and she just never published it until she paid for a coach to just kind of support her through it. So yeah, it’s like, it’s almost just the accountability of having someone there. Once you’ve paid for someone to help you, there’s a huge accountability because you’re not going to be, you’re not going to let them call you again and ask you, “Hey, how’s it going with that project?” And just tell them, Hey, Oh yeah, I did nothing.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Especially when you invest money in something. So I see money, just an energy and it’s an energy exchange. And when people kind of put that energy into themselves, someone pays four, five, six $10,000 for a coach. That is, that’s huge. And that’s not something that you just gotta be like willing to drop and forget about when you do that kind of exchange and put, put money on something like you’re so much more likely to take action rather than when you haven’t invested anything like that.

Sean Grabowski:

Definitely. Yeah, definitely. And I mean this is kind of like off the record, but how I was just telling you that I want to do a bunch of video projects and I’ve been debating, I’ve been like trying to be cheap about it and in my head I know that I just need to make sure that I buy sweet camera or whatever kind of camera it is and then I’ll do something with it. Because I’m not going to waste that. You know, I’m not just going to waste those resources that I put into it.

Brooke Alexander:

Exactly. Exactly. And I’ve helped people for free. I’ve coached some people for free at the beginning and I offered free calls to people, they wouldn’t show up. They wouldn’t do the stuff there. So there are some people that do this stuff even though it’s free. I do offer, I do help some people out and give them free access to my course. I have a mindset because it’s only $33 but there was some people that I’m like I’ll give it to you because I know you’re going to do it. But the majority of people they don’t. They don’t. So yeah, it definitely when you attach the money to it and then you have the, well it’s not just giving money to something. It’s also paying for someone to help you and guide you and support you. Someone who’s like a couple steps ahead and knows what you’re going through and has the tools and techniques to help you get to where you want to be and can be an objective perspective and say, all right, this is actually what you need to do. If you’re scared of this thing, why are you scared of this? Why aren’t you doing this thing? What are you afraid will happen? What won’t happen? And have someone from the outside looking because your ego gets in the way and the ego is just like, no, I don’t want to, I don’t want to do that. I didn’t need to ask myself these hard questions. So I’ve had plenty of coaches and wouldn’t take it back at all.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah, that’s cool. See, that’s one thing that I mean kind of being somewhat in this industry for a little while now, I wouldn’t say I’m in the industry cause I’m not like running a business. But…

Brooke Alexander:

Well you’re in it though.

Sean Grabowski:

I’m fully in it and I see a lot of people and I’m in a lot of people and people message me through my, my website and I message other people and, and ended up with a lot of unique connections. But there’s a lot of people I come across who are coaches, but they kind of, it’s so obvious that they just want to like, they even will talk about it sometimes where they’re like, yeah, I went to a Tony Robbins event and now I’m a coach because I just, I just like, you know, it’s just possible. I just see it now, but I’ve already noticed, I’ve only known you for like a few weeks now and you seem like you’re investing in all these different avenues so you’re investing in all these different courses, they’re costing you a lot of money. So you’re like getting all these tangible things that you can help people with. It’s not just you kind of deciding that you’re established to be a coach, which is honestly a common thing in that whole sphere of things, which kind of takes away from everyone like you who’s actually got all these certifications and stuff.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. And the certifications, like if you’re good at what you’re, what you do they’re not necessary. There are some people that go into it after going to like one personal development event and they’re like, okay now I’m a coach and they’re not in it for the right reasons and they’re not going to be good coaches. And then there some people who just can do it cause they’re really good at it and they do it and like they’re good coaches and they don’t necessarily have the certifications and that’s, that’s fine. As long as they’re getting the results and they’re not like saying that they can cure mental health issues or whatever. That’s fine. But then yeah, even having the training it is, I can’t even explain how different it is going through all the certifications and the training stuff. It’s like I can provide so much more value and help in so many more different ways that I couldn’t before. And it’s like yes I will keep paying so I can help people so much more than I currently can. And I signed up for the master practitioner training as well. So I’m going to do master practitioner training cause I’m like people need this, people need to know this stuff and it, it’s amazing.

Sean Grabowski:

What is that?

Brooke Alexander:

So the training that I did before was just like your intro level and LP hypnotherapy time techniques and EFT. So I’m certified to do those things. But then the next level up is master practitioner training. So then it’s master hypnotherapist, master NLP, like just the next level. So the training that I just went through was seven days. And the master prac is two weeks. Two weeks of training. Yeah. It’ll be with the same person.

Sean Grabowski:

Okay. Yeah. Cool. So one thing that I’m huge on is kind of, it’s the neuroplasticity of the human mind and the fact that the way you walk around in your normal life and the way that things happen to you and the way that you interact with things are based on beliefs and thoughts, things that are preprogrammed into the way that you are. And you don’t have to be that way. They were programmed into you over years. And obviously when you’re a child, you’re more of a sponge than any other time and kind of things that are told you, things that you experienced kind of shaped that a lot. And like what your parents, it could go into like down that whole rabbit hole if I wanted, but but if you can program that, then you can reprogram it now. And it’s such a real thing. Honestly. Like I used to have so many way worse ways of thinking back in the day. And it’s just like amazing how, how different your mindset can change. I’ll just use a really simple example. The day I started my website, I had a buddy who, he was also very into personal growth stuff. He was probably one of the only other people who at the time I knew who was, and his name’s Rodrigo, I actually had an episode with him. Super awesome dude. But he, where was I going with this?

Brooke Alexander:

Mine started your website.

Sean Grabowski:

Oh yeah. Yeah. So he had, he was kind of a YouTuber at the time and he had this, all these awesome videos, like really sweet content and kind of him just talking about himself and how he like is afraid in these moments and how if he, if he just accepted himself that he wouldn’t have to hold himself back, like really self-aware stuff. And I said it to him, I was like, we need to do a podcast, man. You and I need to do a podcast. And then it sunk in. And I was like, I can’t do this. That’s terrifying. I’m incapable of doing that 100%, and that’s just like a whole shift from where I was then to where I am now. And there’s been so many different things along that route and I’m huge into reprogramming your mind with affirmations and I’ve met a lot of people in the last year who are obsessed with that and they literally have things like plastered all over their walls and there’s some of the people doing the coolest things that I’ve ever met in my entire life. And I think I told you about a few of them.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, that’s so true though. Like all of that. And we don’t, people don’t learn this. No one tells us this. No one says Hey, you don’t have to think that way. Like it has it. It sometimes take people, it takes people going to rock bottom or like getting in a really shitty experience for them to discover personal development and then go in that rabbit hole. And then like I said, I listened to that one podcast episode, and my whole perspective changed. I was like, Oh my God, I can choose my thoughts, I can choose what I believe. I don’t have to just believe this random thing that my parents have been saying for years. And like it’s, insane.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah, absolutely. And when you stop kind of limiting yourself with like bad negative thoughts, then you can make little steps in the right direction and one thing builds on another. I use this example all the time, but about a year and a half ago, I was literally sitting in my, I was back living in my hometown doing nothing without a job and I was literally doing nothing and I felt so negative and I like literally like my confidence was like shrinking by the day because I was just doing nothing. And I came across all this stuff again. I kind of like had a big lull where I wasn’t into it and I came across this stuff again and I just kind of started making myself aware of what I needed to do and ways to think. And I just made sure that I got a job. I made sure that I got some freelance jobs to like make some side money. I made sure that I started lining things up for what would come next and I just, one thing led to another and now I’m, I’m like miles ahead from where I was just a year and a half ago. And I feel way more secure in pushing even farther because now I have that solid kind of base form, you know?

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. And when you found personal development again, like was that the thing that made you like start to make the changes again or yeah, it wasn’t.

Sean Grabowski:

Definitely. Well there was kind of a story behind it as well. I don’t know if I told you this, but I might’ve but I was going to move to Vancouver and I had my heart set on it and I was ready to go. Literally had my stuff packed in boxes and I had some friends who were there and it’s funny how things just work out to like synchronicity, right? Like things sometimes just can’t be a coincidence, but I got a few freelance jobs out of nowhere out of thin air. So I was like, okay, I’m going to stick around and finish these quickly. And I was spending some time with a girl, this girl at the time and things were getting more and more kind of serious between us. And then my friends whose house I was literally going to live at in Vancouver while I got started. They were kind of talking to and they were like, man, it’s hard out here to get started. Like entry level work is hard to find out here. And the wages are way lower than Ontario, but living expenses are way higher and not that I would necessarily be completely deterred by that. If I want to live somewhere, I’ll just, I’ll live there, you know. But there were all these different signs being like, don’t go, don’t go. Like it’s just not gonna work. And then I had nothing going on and I was kind of seeing this girl, so I had nothing. I had nothing else going on for myself. So that relationship just naturally started being my only thing and it made it not, it made it not work. Right. So I sat around a few weeks later and I was like, all right, look at this. This is because I have nothing going on. So that was when I kind of jumped into all this self-help content. Again, this is a perfect transition because I wanted to bring this up, but I came across a few different books, kind of wide range of topics, but the law of attraction was a huge one. And there’s all this crazy spiritual stuff with the law of attraction and I totally believe in synchronicity like I mentioned. Sometimes I’ve always believed this even since I was a young kid, that things just are too big of a coincidence to not have meant to happen that way. Like there’s some that sometimes things are just way too crazy, like when you haven’t thought of someone or something in 10 years and then you think of them and then two minutes later something else happens related to them. And then again, you know what I mean?

Brooke Alexander:

Totally.

Sean Grabowski:

And that kind of stuff just kept happening in me. I ended up diving into the solid attraction stuff and though it goes into a really kind of magical realm sometimes where it took me is that what it preaches is complete personal responsibility. You know, like always attracts like. And it’s always true whether you believe in the magical side or just the practicality of that concept. So you know, if, if I’m sitting around and I’m not in a very good vibration at all, you know, I’m like probably slightly selfish with my friends or people I’m in a relationship with, you know, I may be not making the best impression at work. All these things, you’re at a low vibration and good things are not going to come to your friend’s going to appreciate you less. Your friends aren’t going to invite you out to do awesome things when they have like free tickets, whatever. That’s just a hilarious example because I somehow like got free tickets, test so many things this summer. But yeah, it’s, it’s so real. Like when you fully decide that you are going to be the reflection of everything that you want to come back to you. It’s so empowering and it’s so real.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. So did you find that when you were living back at home and you were feeling like really down and like had, we’re a bit depressed that it was like feeding and you said it was getting worse every day. Do you think that was because of just that like low vibe and like attracts like so each day it was just getting worse and worse because you weren’t like doing anything about it?

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Brooke Alexander:

And like I even know when I feel shitty or I’m like grumpy or angry or whatever and shit, stuff starts happening to me. Even just like walking outside, someone will be really rude to me. I’m in a bad mood and I’m at a super low vibe and then someone at a grocery store would be super rude or bad stuff will happen. Not bad. I mean, not bad stuff, but like, you know, you’ll just see more bad stuff until you can like click into it. And just say, Oh wait, actually this is all me. I’m attracting this other really bad stuff. And then you can kind of take control of it from there.

Sean Grabowski:

Definitely. And I mean it preaches a lot of emotional maturity to it. Like if you believe in the law of attraction, you will inherently become emotionally mature. At least if you’re actually practicing what you’re preaching because every time you’re getting rattled about something that’s pointless in the big picture, you’ll step back and be like, the vibes that I’m putting out there just from even thinking this aren’t even worth it, they literally aren’t even worth it. So it makes you question every time that something is bothering you. And that in my mind, is really what consciousness is in general. It’s being, that’s what consciousness is. You know, you’re aware of your thoughts.

Brooke Alexander:

And not to say that any of this is like, you can’t feel sad or angry because then you’re going to have a shitty life. But so like I still feel sad all the time. I cry when I need to cry. I get angry when I need to get angry. But it’s the awareness of saying, all right, I have this negative emotion, negative state, but I’m responsible for either getting out of that or staying in it. It’s not that these emotions control you. You get to control them so you can stay in a low vibe and be angry and be rude and be a mean person. And eventually like a bad day becomes a bad personality. But the point of all this stuff, law of attraction and mindset stuff, is that you can control, that you’re allowed to feel your feelings but your responsible for all your outcomes and all your experiences. And like I said earlier, I am 100% fully believe that everyone should be at cause and not at effect of outside world, experiences, emotions, fully take responsibility. And that’s what law of attraction is. Totally.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah. Completely. Yeah.

Brooke Alexander:

Kind of I guess on topic, but a little bit of a side note, we’re going to talk about it anyway. So when you started getting into law of attraction, did you have any resistance to that or, or like how did that come up? Cause at first, so for me, law of attraction. The first time I ever heard about it was through the book, the secret, the movie. Actually I didn’t read, I haven’t read the book and I haven’t seen the movie, but someone told me that it was like, Oh, you just think something and you get it. And I was like, that’s stupid and it doesn’t work. But for you, is that like, did you, how did you come across it and how did you yeah, tell me that. Tell me that.

Sean Grabowski:

How did I come across it? That’s a really tough one. So I heard of the secret years and years ago. I literally think that I was just watching YouTube videos from other stuff and I just came across like some YouTubers who just mentioned law of attraction here and there. And I was just like, law of attraction. That sounds like something I should learn more about. I think it was completely just a coincidence like that. Like I’m somebody who’s always digging, right? Yeah.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. I didn’t have. any resistance.

Sean Grabowski:

No, I mean I’m a really like law of attraction in a weird way. So let’s say people who believe in God, they believe, they just have this belief that there’s something else going on. There’s some God, there’s not a guy, there’s a God whether he’s a man or a female.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, well they call him a man.

Sean Grabowski:

But they, they just believe that he’s there. And I have always kind of worded it this way, but I grew up Christian. I’m not from like a a super Christian household or anything like that. Like I came from a family that barely ever went to church or anything, but technically I’m a Christian. So, but I’ve never really identified as like, I believe in God. I believe the Bible is a set of real stories and rules like, but what I do believe in is that there’s something going on here and the law of attraction is kind of like, it’s just another way of expressing that. It’s like there’s something else going on here, you know, like we can’t explain it. There’s something that happens when you die. There’s something that’s going on here, like day to day in the way that you act and the way that you are and the way that you think. And so, I don’t know, I’ve always just been really open minded to things like that. If something, yeah, I really don’t know. It’s just like, I just believe it. I just believe that there’s something else going on here. And I think the law of attraction kind of plays into that.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, that’s really cool. And the only reason I’m like so intrigued by it is because for me just the idea of a guy being into spirituality, I haven’t really come across any normal guys who are into this kind of stuff. And I know it, we’ve spoken about this before, that it’s mostly women that are into this kind of stuff and it speak about it, whether or not like maybe there are guys that are into it, they just don’t talk about it. But yeah, it’s cool. It’s really cool. I, yeah, it’s awesome.

Sean Grabowski:

Cool. Yeah, I’m glad that that’s the feedback I’m getting like from you and other people. So I’m just gonna explain that a little further. But yeah, like a few weeks ago I just ran into this girl I know and she was talking to me about my podcast and she was asking me like, what, what are you trying to do with all this? And my response was, well, I just want to have an excuse to have cool conversations. And she basically said, well, you have this theme going on though. Like you wouldn’t have this random theme if it was just to talk about stuff. And I literally had never realized it until that moment. But in the spiritual world in general with personal growth and mindfulness in particular and spirituality, there’s like, there’s not many good resources for just normal dudes. And there is some guy stuff out there, but it’s like, it’s either, so I’m like totally nomad dude who like has hair down to his knees and lives on like a hut in Hawaii or it’s this like this, like this guy who’s a yoga dude

Brooke Alexander:

Or like a Tony Robbins or whatever, which is like a way too, yeah, it’s too much.

Sean Grabowski:

And I really am just a normal dude. Like I’m not, like I don’t, I don’t practice any of that really out there stuff that often. I practice all of this whole kind of concept regularly in my life and I realized there’s this huge lacking there and that’s kind of something that I want my podcast and everything to take on the theme of, and I didn’t even tell you this yet, but ironically I was actually sitting with my friend Chris, who I did one of my last episodes with. He’s a super spiritual guy to like really into all this stuff. And we were in LA. Just talking, just like you meet so many random people there, right? Who are just doing cool stuff. Like I describe it, you know, when you’re in Toronto and everyone’s just kind of getting it, you’re walking around downtown and it’s kind of motivating. You see all these people get it, but they’re all like, people in business suits who are like, they work at banks and law firms. LA was like that, but it’s all creatives, which is so cool. It’s like people who are getting it, but they’re writers and directors and coaches and like pro surfers, there’s like so many different things. But, so one of the people I met was this guy and I told him about my podcast and the first thing he said was, you know what, I go to meditation centers probably once a week or so around here. And the one thing that I really don’t like is I go into all these meditation centers and there’s very few guys. I’ll the guys are, they’re not really like me. Like I’m just a normal dude. He was such a normal dude. And there’s like, they come in, they lay crystals around everyone and they do these like kind of really out there stuff. And he’s like, I just want to go in there and meditate and meditate and clear my head and you know, just get the good practicality of it so that I can get on with my day and what I’m doing. Cause he was a dude who was like really well esteemed in what he was doing. He was an author and he owned like a startup with his buddy. And he just was a practical dude who just wanted to, who practiced all this stuff and just wanted a really realistic approach to benefiting his own life from it all. And he expressed that same thing without me even telling him that. So I’ve just noticed this giant gap.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. There is a giant gap and I’ve told you you need to fill it. Yeah. Yeah. You can. Like this is the start, but yeah, that’s really cool. And even I think so. You’re so right. All that stuff. Like it’s so female dominated and there isn’t. Maybe the reason that there is not a lot of guys kind of getting into this stuff is because it is so female dominated. And I understand that. Like I like crystals. I mean they’re pretty sure they’re pretty, that’s I, okay. I don’t wanna get too far into crystals, but I wouldn’t want to go to a meditation center and have them put around me even though I like them. That’s not what I want from meditation either. But there are people like me and you who are coming into it and coming into this space and we’re the ones where the of saying let’s make this normal and accessible and not weird and not hippie and not with crystals everywhere. So this is like, this is where we come in to fill that gap. But it’s cool.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah, it’s neat. I mean I’m ever since that conversation with that guy, I’ve been emailing with him a little bit too. I think I’m going to have a Skype call and talk about it, but I’ve been just brainstorming like how can I fill that gap? Yeah. Well and putting that intention out there into the universe of how can I feel that gap. Now you’ve put that intention out there. Law of attraction, synchronicities, this is how it all works. It’s all going to start coming to you soon. So you need to make sure that you’re ready to receive this stuff that you’re going to get from the universe and the downloads and you’re not just going to be like, that’s silly. Can’t do that. That’s silly, can’t do that, because the reason that you’re going to get these ideas and all that stuff coming through is because the universe is like, all right, we’ve got someone who is ready, let’s go and just give you so many ideas. So some of it’s probably going to seem really weird, but that’s kind of the sign. Whenever I get a really weird idea, I’m like, that’s a sign that I need to do that even though it’s weird and I haven’t seen anyone do that before. I have this idea for a reason and it’s going to be the same for you. So I don’t know what you’ve come up with. You haven’t told me what, what you’ve come up with so far in your brainstorms, but…

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah, I’ve got some ideas, but nothing is totally solid. Yeah, I’ve been, I’ve messaged a few people about it, some guys who are just like me. So those are the kinds of people I need to be connecting with more right now too. Right?

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. And definitely doing stuff that’s more male focused to get more guys into this stuff. As a woman, I know like we connected because we were both into this same stuff. And for people I know like getting into relationships or whatever, it’s like all right, well Thailand likely I’m going to find a guy who is into this kind of stuff. So he then needs to be supportive of it and not tell me I’m stupid or he just needs to like kind of put up with it. So it’s like nice to see. And I know there are probably a lot of women out there that would be really grateful for males to get into this kind of stuff. And I know there’s a lot of things with like let men do their own thing and women do their thing because like we need nothing to, but no, no, this isn’t one of those things like at all. So, yeah, it’s so cool that we’re seeing so many more normal down to earth guys getting into this stuff.

Sean Grabowski:

And I mean it’s gonna it’s gonna happen more and more because it’s just kind of a, like, I don’t know if you’ve heard all about the kind of, people have talked about it for a long time that a consciousness shift is happening right around this moment. Yeah. And I think that really, that’s kind of what it is. It’s, it’s just more people becoming aware of the fact that the human mind is such a powerful tool and there’s a lot more behind what it can do and everything really is the power of your, you know,

Brooke Alexander:

Have you ever seen a video of neurons in the brain wiring and like making new connections and disconnecting from old connections?

Sean Grabowski:

I dunno. Is that the one where it looks like an electrical charge goes in and it just spreads around like a [inaudible]

Brooke Alexander:

No. Well that’s what happens when stuff is fired through neurons and the electrical energy fires and goes through all the connections. But there’s videos that I’ve seen of neurons connecting to new neurons to making new connections. So when you think a new thought or learn something new you, there’s a new wire created and then like when you want to get rid of something, it unwires and like you that it’s so cool. It’s really, really cool. You have to watch it. I’ll see if I can find it somewhere. But it’s, so as soon as I saw that I was like, Oh my God, that’s happening in my head right now. I learn something new and these neurons that are in there move around, they move and find another neuron to connect too. It’s, it’s so insane. I saw that and I was like, Whoa. Seriously.

Sean Grabowski:

I mean, the power of the human mind is actually insane. Like I have, this episode was not really about mindfulness, but my last episode was with a friend of mine who became a pro snowboarder and he hit his head a couple of years ago and was in a coma. And he, like they said he was going to die and he survived. And then they told him he was going to be paralyzed and then they told him that his whole left side was going to, those motor skills were going to be horrible. And he was just in there like, he’s such a determined guy. Like people who become pros at things are determined people. Right. And he was in there learning how to walk and talk again. He couldn’t even speak or write or, or walk or do anything. And he yeah, he had to learn all of that all over again. And that was after they had to cut his brain and like all these different things and it’s just crazy. The brain is so plastic and he’s like, he’s literally like back to normal. It’s insane.

Brooke Alexander:

Oh, so have you ever, I think we’ve spoken about Joe Dispenza. Yes. so he was kind of a similar story. He’s a chiropractor. He was a chiropractor and then got hit by a car and it was the same thing. He had a spinal injury and they told him you’ll never walk again, blah, blah blah. And now he’s like leading the field in meditation and quantum shifting and it’s insane.

Sean Grabowski:

His stuff is incredible. I think it’s some of my favorite stuff right now.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah, yeah. I’m kind of, I, so I read his book quite a while ago and I loved it. Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself (Joe Dispenza). Okay. And then recently, even actually since we talked the last time, so I’ve started getting to know his stuff way more. Actually since we talked so much stuff has come up, like popping up for quantum, shifting YouTube videos, books, all that kind of stuff. So much for quantum shifting has been popping up. It’s, it’s weird. It’s like one of those synchronicities things like the universe is pushing me down that path. It’s really cool. But that’s what he does. Yeah. And webinars, weird webinars just were popping up and I was like, I got a spare two hours. Sure. I’ll watch this webinar on quantum shifting. I don’t know why, but it’s a sign. I use that as a sign that the teacher, what do they say, the, when the teacher appears, when the student is ready.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah, that’s it.

Brooke Alexander:

So I think that’s kind of what it is.

Sean Grabowski:

That statement is so true. You know, you won’t learn until you’re ready. And that’s where the whole, you have to hit rock bottom thing kind of happens. It’s like you have to be literally so fed up or if screwed up so bad from your habits or tendencies before you literally look around and go, wow, I’m doing this wrong.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah. And it’s unfortunate that it kind of gets that way, but it might also be a good thing because then you go through the experience and you can add so much more value when you know, like I have been through something so, so shit that when I can get through that and add value for other people, I’ll know where they’re coming from. And I’ll know I’ve gone leaps and bounds and that it’s possible for anyone else to do as well. But throughout quantum shifting. It’s real. It’s real. That’s a whole other topic. But I know I need to dive into that a little more before I can talk about it. It’s crazy. So I watched this video. We actually did talk about this, about the double slit experiment or something. Is that what it’s called? But I found this one YouTube video that explained that really, really simply cause I was trying to look it up and I was like, I don’t understand what any of this means.

Sean Grabowski:

Is it the cartoon one?

Brooke Alexander:

It’s kind of a cartoon, just random weird dude talking, but he explained it so, so well and that, and then this kind of ties all back into choosing what you want to think and what you want to feel because nothing has any meaning until it’s observed and meaning is applied, which is kind of how that all comes in. So with the quantum shifting, nothing exists until it is, it is observed existing or it can exist in all States until it’s observed existing. I think, don’t quote me on that. I could be completely wrong and like the whole science, but that’s kind of how I interpret it and how it makes sense to me. And also with your thoughts or with your experiences that happen in your reality. Nothing has meaning. Nothing is good or bad until you label it that way. So you could walk down the street and someone could yell something at you and you could say, that’s terrible. That person was rude to me. I feel really bad. I’m angry, blah, blah, blah. Or you could just say, Whoa. That was kind of funny. So it’s, yeah, kind of all ties in really nicely there, I feel like.

Sean Grabowski:

Oh, definitely. Yeah, definitely. I’m going to give a little bit of context here. So the double slit experiment in a nutshell, they shot a bunch of atoms through a slit and atom’s hit the wall in a wave. So atom’s are basically a form. There’s such a small form of matter that they’re not a physical object anymore. And when you shoot them out a wall, a weight, a basically a wave will come out of the gun. But as soon as you put a camera out there and you literally try and watch the atom hit the wall to understand why it hits as a wave, it’ll hit it like a ball. It’ll be like as if you’re shooting like a bullet at the wall. So for some reason when you watch matter, it reacts differently. So that is where the really kind of magical side that is super debatable. Everyone can argue whatever they believe, but that’s something that physics and nobody on this earth can explain. But when you watch matter, it reacts differently. So that’s kind of the whole concept that if you visualize only good things and you think only good thoughts and you only are putting a good vibrations, that there’s that’s how you get the good things. And that’s how you make all those things materialize because you’re watching it in a certain way and it’s just a wave until you watch it.

Brooke Alexander:

There’s so many things that, okay, this could all lead in to, first of all let’s talk about how you put all of this into practice. So do you have certain, I know you’ve told me that you have stuff on your walls but do you like when do you meditate? How do you meditate? What kind of law of attraction stuff do you do? How do you practice all of that?

Sean Grabowski:

It’s a good question. So I literally I have a whiteboard in my room and I never did this until I keep quoting my old episodes, which is so funny. But I did an episode of Max Eberhardt. He used to be on the Canadian national team, one of the best pros numbers in the world. And then he just had too many concussions and had to retire. And within a year he was producing songs for Drake, just like full career shift and right back to the very top, you know? And I was like, how did you do it? Just I’m still mind blown about how he did so quickly because people dream their whole lives about doing that. And he was the first person who told me this out of many. Since then, he was like, I had all my goals, plastered on my walls, and had affirmations plastered on this giant whiteboard. I have a six foot tall whiteboard, but if side of my bed, and I look at that shit every single day. So I literally went to Dollarama like the next day, bought a whiteboard, wrote down all my goals and affirmations and I read them every single day. And at the very least, it just keeps everything top of mind and you know, it, it’s basically that you tell yourself what you want to believe and you’ll get if you do read that first thing in the morning, you can feel that way throughout the day. So I do that. I journal often and my journal is literally of just like pure positivity. There’s nothing negative ever spoken in it. And if it is, it’s like, it’s like just acknowledging the fact that now past that. So those are two ways that I do it. But I think I’m like a complicated person without question because I do so much. You know, I go to the gym often, I run often and it’s all because of the way that it affects my mind and I bike to work because of the way that it sets up my day. Cause it’s like I feel good, you know, when I get to the office and I’m like able to be a little better than I would be otherwise. Yeah. Like almost everything is just like a practice of mindfulness. But one thing that I think is setting my content, is what I think I like about the content that I write and that I talk about is that I’ve started taking this different approach on it where, like you look at humans, like we’re just hormonal beings. Like literally, as much as we can say that we’re spiritual beings, we can say that we’re like whatever we want to say. Like I’m guided by hormones and like the way that you live really, there’s a lot of things that fully affect those. Are you actually the natural state of being that allows you to be at your best? Because when you sit on Instagram constantly, and no offense, there’s a way, there’s a huge difference between sitting there, comparing yourself to people or posting shit that nobody cares about, to be, to be quite Frank about what a lot of people are doing and posting content because it’s what you’re doing. Like there’s a huge difference between what you do and what a lot of other people do. But when you sit on Instagram and you’re just like posting really pointless stuff just because of this weird kind of negative feeling that you’re trying to get rid of and you’re just sitting there scrolling, comparing yourself to everyone, or this is a touchy topic, but let’s say you’re just like watching porn to make yourself feel better, which is a huge problem with dudes. That shit fucks with your hormones so badly and you can really take control of your mindset in a lot of ways by being aware of the way that what you’re doing is affecting those hormone imbalances.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah. And so do you mean like the kind of instant gratification stuff?

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah. Basically.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Cause that’s what Instagram, social media basically is instant gratification really.

Sean Grabowski:

For sure. Yeah. And they like those hormone imbalances. It’s the newest science that I think is going to be a huge thing soon cause they’re, they’re literally relating social media and porn and all these things back to like anxiety, depression, ADHD all these different things and impulsiveness. Because it literally, it creates a pattern of indulgence. Yeah. Yeah. So those are things that I’m diving into. Like those are my, my new school approaches that I think are amazing. There’s some of the best things I’ve ever done to improve my mindset.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And what about meditating? How do you do that? When do you do that?

Sean Grabowski:

I forgot I left that one out. You’re right.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. This is an important one because I’m big on meditating. I love doing it. I love telling everyone else to do it. So how do you do it?

Sean Grabowski:

Literally I would say I work out at lunch when I’m at work and I probably gone to sauna three, four days a week. Yeah. I meditate in the sauna. That’s an awesome place for it. Cause it’s like, it’s kinda challenging too. It’s like very like a good place for solitude. But yeah, I meditate pretty often. I usually do guided meditations when I’m at home. I’m going to say half and half. Depends whether my roommates are home or not. Yeah. I’ll do a guided meditation if they’re home. Put my headphones in. But yeah, I probably meditate like five days a week, I would say. That’s pretty good. Do you do it before work or just before bed? I don’t probably like after work. Like I really do not have a stressful job cause I like what I do and it’s just like an awesome work environment. But some days I get home and I’m just like a little too go, go, go and I’ll just, I literally just meditate when I sense that I need to, I don’t really have a routine. So it’s more like me just listening to, yeah.

Brooke Alexander:

That’s cool. Yeah. Do you have a morning routine, ritual kind of thing to set you up for the day?

Sean Grabowski:

I wish. I wish. I know. I really do. I know so much about what people say about that stuff. But yeah, I am bad with mornings. I’m just bad with mornings, but I’m aware of that.

Brooke Alexander:

When did you decide that?

Sean Grabowski:

Good question.

Brooke Alexander:

It’s a life coach session.

Sean Grabowski:

Oh no. Yeah, I know that’s like a habit I’m so aware of honestly is so aware of yeah. Just need to crack it. Yeah, I think I’m going to have to crack it soon because I’ve been biking to work and it’s so easy to just get out of bed, bike to work. But now that it’s winter, I kind of, I’m going to have to start taking transit. I got to wake up earlier. I got to like…

Brooke Alexander:

Deal with transit. People on transit ready transit in, in Toronto in the winter. Not in the winter. Not in the winter. You’re going to need to meditate. You are gonna need to meditate.

Sean Grabowski:

Yeah. I’m not a fan of transit.

Brooke Alexander:

Yup. Yup. I’ve done that plenty of times.

Sean Grabowski:

So we’re almost at an hour. Should we dive into a little bit more before we cut this off? Okay. I want to ask you about this. So I’ve asked a lot of people about this because everyone has a different response. But law of attraction is basically taking complete ownership and creating your future and you’re big into tarot cards and kind of believing that. I mean, I don’t know if taro cards really are that, but do you believe that things are already predefined? Do you think that things turn out a certain way because they’re meant to? Because I don’t know how you can believe in that and believe in the law of attraction.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. You know what? So I had a conversation with someone the other day and I S I haven’t verbalized this kind of thought or idea, but I’ve come up with this thing lately. This theory I have that everything that will ever happen, all our memories, everything that’s going to happen, like our lives have already all fully happened. And time is a way of, our consciousness’ way of putting all those memories in a certain order. So, even though we think that time is progressing and moving forward and things are happening in a linear fashion, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 2018, 2019, that this is just an organization way of doing things, but everything’s already all happened in our consciousness. Our consciousness is already experienced everything that we’re ever going to experience, but we just have to put it in this order. So this is a thought that I’ve had that I literally probably like formed it formed maybe a week or two ago. It’s very recent. So I don’t know how that fits into law of attraction really. I don’t know. But I, yeah, I don’t know how those two time together and I don’t even know if I fully believe in this theory that I came up with. It’s just something that’s floating around in my head. But I don’t…

Sean Grabowski:

Did you come up with that theory?

Brooke Alexander:

I probably have heard it. I’ve probably heard it somewhere or have like put other people’s ideas to get, or maybe it isn’t fully my idea or maybe I, maybe someone else has thought of it, but I’ve also thought of it, I don’t know. Like, I dunno. I listen to a lot of stuff when I’m falling asleep, so if I’ve like heard it and it’s kind of gone in unconsciously while I’m falling asleep, I don’t know. But my brain is entertaining this idea. At least it’s entertaining. It, it didn’t push it away so it’s in there. But even so, I still wouldn’t leave things, because maybe this is my path. Maybe even, maybe if everything has already happened, my path might still be one of following the idea of law of attraction and deciding what my reality is going to look like. Maybe that is what it is for me. And then for someone else who doesn’t believe that there’s is their life that they’re unhappy with and that’s their path. I don’t know. I don’t have like a fully, a full answer for that. Yeah.

Sean Grabowski:

I mean for myself, I’m an open minded person, you know, that’s the thing. I’m, I’m willing to entertain anything, any idea until it’s proven to be like, hilarious or kooky. But yeah, one of my buddies who I was on that trip with, he was like, man, you’re like such a freewill guy. Like everything about what you believe is like freewill. And I realized like, yeah, for sure. It’s like, for me. It’s like a fuel. It’s like, yes, anything can happen. But that theory is something I’ve heard many times recently. And yeah, like a really interesting example of that is a friend of mine several months ago was telling me about an episode of Oprah that Will I Am was on, you know, will I am. Yeah. So he’s like huge into meditation and stuff and she was, I don’t even remember what the question was, but there’s a lot of people, it’s just the theory that time is not linear. That’s why there’s like weird, there’s weird coincidences from the past connecting the future. There are a lot of weird things sometimes. You’d have to dive into that to like fully be able to believe it. You know, it’s easy for me to just say that. It’s hard to believe until I have proven examples. I wish I had some, but we’ll, I am talking about how he meditated. But he meditates affirmations to his future self and his past self and as he explained it, in such an interesting fashion, but what he was saying was time is not linear. So I know that my old self before his music, music career took off and before he even knew that he wanted a music career is sitting there struggling, confused, like really struggling and I know that he’s there, he’s still there because time is not linear. I’m just here right now and there’s another version of me in the future who’s an old man looking back and he has his own problems. So he was like, so when I pray and I meditate, I’m praying to my past self that he can figure it out so that I can have the opportunity to be here where I am and so that this older man can be there living well, but figuring out his own stuff. And it’s such a bizarre concept, but I mean it’s really out there. That’s when it gets really out there. But it’s crazy. You know, we all live in this world where nobody knows what’s going on. So why and how can you just shut out the possibility of things being crazy?

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Yeah. So one of the experiences that I had that kind of added to this idea that I have is in the training we did this thing called time techniques. And basically one of the first questions is, so we’ll go onto like, what is an emotion that you want to get rid of? Anger. Okay. So then we say we speak directly to the unconscious mind and say, when was the first time you experienced this emotion of anger? Was it during or after birth? And so whoever you’re speaking to, well, like whatever pops up is the answer, whatever your subconscious mind is. Mine’s answer is that is what the answer is. So one of the girls, she was like, Oh, I think it’s like some age, maybe between here and here. And then the trainer was like, it wasn’t a solid answer. And so she kind of went along with it and then the girl was like, no, no, no. It was before that. It was at conception, it was at conception. And then she was talking about these experiences and she was like afterwards when she was like back in the room she said at conception, she, her anger was at conception because she knew later in life she was going to have another experience, a specific experience that made her angry. So at conception, this is when she experienced anger, but it was because of a future event. It’s, I know, it’s so bizarre. It’s like really hard to understand. But after that I was like, this kind of ads into this thought and this theory that I’ve been working on for a little while. So very interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time techniques is really weird. Like

Sean Grabowski:

It’s really, that’s when it gets really out there. You know? I just can’t wait. Even if we don’t know any of it still, there’s going to be a point like 20-30 years where we know somewhat of some really crazy shit that right now we would look at and be like, that is the nuttiest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life and we’re gonna realize that there’s a lot. Things are connected, you know, in some kind of a way, but we’re going to be able to explain them a little bit. People’s minds are just going to be blown

Brooke Alexander:

And it still wouldn’t even be all of it. There will still be more. It’s not like we’re ever going to find the answer to any of this stuff. I don’t think we’ll ever find the answer. There’s always going to be more cause we’ll get to that next level and be like, Whoa, now we see so much more. What’s the answer to this? It’s going to just keep going

Sean Grabowski:

For sure. My thought is that you only know it all once you die. That’s when you find out. That’s literally like I, that’s where I’m a spiritual person, but I’m not necessarily a religious person, I think that when you die, you see the bigger picture, like you like are finally there and you’re like, Whoa.

Brooke Alexander:

But then maybe there’s a next level once you die and it’s like maybe death isn’t the end. There’s a whole nother level and then what happens then no one knows. It’s crazy. Yeah.

Sean Grabowski:

Cool. Well, I think that’s an awesome note to end on, like full down this crazy, crazy path. That was a good one.

Brooke Alexander:

Yeah. Cool.