This past year was a huge learning process for me. I realized tons about my personal wants and hopes, my tendencies and habits, and most recently, I believe I finally learned how to take complete ownership for my circumstances. It took quite a while for me to accept this in full, but it is liberating. As an adult, mature masculinity is a quality I want to embody and a self reliant mindset is absolutely necessary in achieving this. I want more responsibility, so I need to first take full responsibility for myself. The good, the great, and the ugly. They say difficult situations are the cause of true learning, and this was certainly the case for myself.
At a certain point this year, I entered a state of confusion. I lost touch with the centered and rational disposition I pride myself on operating from. I was beginning to question my long held plan to migrate west, and instead of responding to this uncertainty with a sense of balance, I was reactive. I changed the way I was approaching relationships I cared about, I changed the way I was approaching my work-life and I changed the way I was thinking about the future. In reality, I was beginning to question my own ability to make the correct decision for myself on a personal level. Looking back on the year, I realize the way this disorientation influenced everything I was doing. I was resisting uncertainty and the thought that just maybe, I should accept the possibility of changing my mind. In the end, I am glad that I did and it is all going to work out much better. That same resistance I was putting out was simply being mirrored back to me in ways I could not necessarily control.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl
It is sometimes quite amazing how much clarity we can gain when we finally step back and observe a situation from the periphery. This year I took several steps that I have been stalling on for years. I dove into new interests, opened myself up to some new perspectives and in the end, truly learned a lot about my own goals, passions, and how to take advantage of them both. My self awareness grew tenfold and I am truly feeling very centered again. I’m excited for what is next and this time, I will know with certainty how to maintain my composure. This year my resolutions are to take absolute ownership for my situation, learn a shit ton… and do some handstands.