I was recently chatting with a friend about the current state of the world. In particular, a few specific aspects of modern culture that seem to be particularly noticeable in big cities like ours. People are postponing marriage longer. People are postponing committing to a career longer. And people are postponing moving out of their parents homes longer. At this point it all feels like a pretty normal phenomenon. For the most part, millennials are holding off on the traditional lifestyle our parents grew up with. Despite the fact that this pattern is happening nearly everywhere, there’s still a very powerful and strange pressure to have your life figured out at a really young age. Sorry to the traditional narrative but we are trending in the opposite direction, and that is totally alright.
For myself personally, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to have my shit together. It’s a familiar feeling I’ve had looming over me since the end of high school. Up until just recently, it was constantly jabbing me in the side, trying to convince me to do things I knew did not feel right. It convinced me to try jobs and lifestyles that did not turn me on, and it influenced me to make a lot of decisions based on the expectations of others. The pressure to succeed and progress actually put a significant delay on my headway toward the things I knew I wanted deep down. Giving in to this pressure obstructs the natural and agile flow of our lives along their proper path, and I’m glad I learned this early on. It took me a lot of life experience to realize what this pressure was doing to my success, and my situation changed tremendously when I chose to adopt an alternate perspective.
You don’t need to have your shit figured out. You just need to be doing something.
It’s a really simple concept that carries a powerful message. We all believe we need to have our career solidified, a well established relationship and savings or a home by our mid to late twenties. We’ve been told this our entire lives, and it’s not our fault if we give into this mindset from time to time. With that being said, I believe that expectation is pretty much bullshit. You don’t need to know what will happen ten years from now, and really, you shouldn’t. Anybody who requires that kind of control to be happy is on the wrong path anyway. What you do need is purpose. You need something to work toward because that is what keeps you in gear. It’s what keeps you level headed, and its what keeps you in the present. Purpose gives your actions meaning and it will ensure that you make decisions based on your values, not desires or fears. You do not necessarily need to know where you are going, only that you are going somewhere. Every bit of progress and learning empowers you to do better at the next stage.
As many people have said before, your speed does not matter. Forward is still forward. Accepting and embracing the uncertainty of the process is a skill in and of itself. Uncertainty can be a beautiful thing.